the comic book store on the corner (the one rumored to have underground D&D tournaments) has been playing the movie A Christmas Story on repeat for the past 5 days.  It’s running on a mini TV in their front window display. Waste of energy?? But the weirdest thing is that they somehow have wired the audio to play outside the store, so no matter what time of day it is, you’ll hear “YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT, KID”.  It’s most unnerving at night, when you round the corner and hear faint voices, which usually makes me think that there are super randos just standing there with no one else on the street.

Yesterday, I was on a domestic rampage.  I cleaned. I sewed. I cooked. I baked.  I made the most outstanding gingersnapzzzz and potato latkes.  Though the latkes were a pain in the ass to make (grating potatoes and onions always makes me nervous that my hands will slip, and i’ll slice my fingers up), and though my house smelled like a giant greasebomb after, they’ll be totally worth it. ungh.

Story:  In middle school, we used to have dances every other month.  Super awkward events with boys separated from girls until a slow dance came on (afterwhich, both sexes would retreat back to their respective sides).  I, being  a sassy seventh grader, thought I was hotshit and wore my “lowcut” black spandex Express shirt (I was determined to have those boys notice me).  Of course, this was in December, and actually during Hanukkah, so my mom had made latkes for dinner.  And obviously they were delicious.

So, i eventually got to school, and went to get my hand stamped and go inside the cafeteria, when one of the teachers who was working at the table said “WHOA. WHAT’S THAT SMELL??”.  I didn’t smell anything.  But, apparently, it was me.  Latkes cause anyone and anything within 20 feet of them to smell like onions and potatoes and grease.  That included me and my sassy Express shirt.  She told me I had to call home and get a change of clothes because it was just too strong a smell…she told me it was for my own good, but yikesface. If I wasn’t so cocky at the time, I’m sure that would have been totally detrimental to my teenage ego.

’tis the season. right?